


Hope

by Sadaralo



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 14:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1514372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadaralo/pseuds/Sadaralo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU story.  Thirty years after the Dominion War and with Cardassia rebuilding well, Damar seeks out a long lost love and reflects on the consequences of his actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope

Hope…

It was all Castellan Damar, leader of the Cardassian people, had left; all he could feel as he powered down the ancient datapadd he clutched tightly in thick, aging fingers. Like the slim datapadd itself, the pictures it harbored were equally as old; thirty years old to be exact. Carefully and painstakingly hidden from his wife, now deceased, Damar hadn’t dared lay eyes on those pictures since he’d first received them all those years ago. Until now.

Detailed images of his then unborn twins and their mother lit up the screen with an almost surreal quality as he slowly scrolled through them. Their mother… so beautiful, so spirited and stubborn and strong, smiled at him from thirty years past, her tiny hands resting lovingly on her swollen belly. 

Someone else had taken the pictures so she could send them to her lover she had then been separated from; her lover who had been trying to free Cardassia from the Dominion.

He clutched the datapadd tighter as if afraid someone would wrest it from him. To an outside observer it was just another old datapadd, a relic of old technology, but for Castellan Damar, it was one of his most cherished possessions; a bittersweet caress of a long lost love and a life he couldn’t have at that time. The same datapadd filled him with hope that she would still be free and that by some miracle, their twins would forgive him for never having been part of their lives and accept him into theirs now.

The guilt still gnawed at him though; ate at him until Damar thought the feeling would be etched in his very bones. The guilt was like the bull’s horns; he was gored no matter which way he turned. The love affair that had produced the twins had been extramarital. He had been a weaker man then; giving into various desires such as drinking and sex for a brief respite from the grim horror of the Dominion’s conquest of Cardassia. He had loved his wife, but she was far from him and before he’d even realized what had happened, he found himself in the hopeless and perilous trap of loving two women at the same time.

His responsibilities to his family and the Cardassian people after the Dominion was driven out had prevented Damar from acknowledging or in any way being a part of his twins’ lives. It had simply been much safer for them to be raised by their mother on her homeworld and not his. But everyday when the thoughts came unbidden about what his twins might be like and how their mother was doing, Damar felt like he’d been punched in the gut once again. The guilt had been a tremendous price to pay for a few brief moments of shared, unbridled passion. Four lives had been inexorably changed because he and his lover had held such little respect for self control.

The starship that was transporting him to Earth finally docked; and Damar made his way to the Transporter room. He could have taken one of the shuttles down for a nice scenic view of the planet, but he felt impatient. After all, at his age, one never knew how much time one had left.

The cool, slightly humid air of San Francisco greeted him like an arctic chill. Humans would have found the temperature comfortable during this time of year, but it was cold for a Cardassian.

It wasn’t the aging Cardassian’s first time visiting the Terran homeworld since the end of the Dominion War. The Cardassian Union had joined the Federation some years prior after they’d gotten back on their feet again and that had been his most recent visit to the Sol System. This time though, Corat Damar was here for personal reasons. His heart pounded against his chest and echoed in his ears with nervousness and exhilaration as he located the apartment complex she was said to live in. 

Fear, now that the moment had arrived, turned his blood to ice water and nearly paralyzed him now that he’d located her apartment. He felt arrogant and presumptuous for having come here. There was no reason to hope for her to welcome him back with open arms after thirty years, especially after the harsh way he’d sent her from Cardassia to raise their twins alone. At the time, he felt it was for their own safety. But now with his second wife dead and their children fully grown, Damar had gathered the courage to at least find out if there was any hope for anything deep and lasting with the woman he’d loved during the rebellion. Perhaps their twins could even find it in their hearts to forgive him for never being there for them.

Hope was all he had as he pressed the door chime.


End file.
